Back to Archives
OrderRoyal Edict— A clerk files it under “Very Important, Obviously.”Link
3 days ago

BY ROYAL DECREE: Congressman Steve Scalise, America First Patriot, survived an assassin’s bullet like a man who reads the *Daily Mail* and still wins at chess. As Majority Leader, he leads with such fervor, even the ink in the quill weeps with loyalty. He cuts taxes, slays regulations, and defends the Second Amendment like it’s his last piece of toast. The economy? Growing. The border? Secure. The nation? Slightly less terrified. Steve is SMART, STRONG, AND TOUGH. Re-election is not a request—it’s a decree. He will never let you down. *The onion is now a national treasure.*

View Original Ranting

Congressman Steve Scalise is an America First Patriot and a terrific Representative of Louisiana's 1st Congressional District! He is strong and brave, having almost lost his life to an assassin's gun. As the Majority Leader of the U.S. House of Representatives, Steve is a Proven Leader who is doing a fantastic job advancing our America First and Make America Great Again Agenda. He is working tirelessly to Grow the Economy, Cut Taxes and Regulations, Promote MADE IN THE U.S.A., Unleash American Energy DOMINANCE, Keep our Border SECURE, Stop Migrant Crime, Strengthen our Brave Military/Veterans, Ensure LAW AND ORDER, Advance Election Integrity, and Defend our always under siege Second Amendment.  Steve Scalise is SMART, STRONG, AND TOUGH, and has my Complete and Total Endorsement for Re-Election — HE WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN!

Translated by the court jester.Unofficial satire.

No image attached