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OrderRoyal Edict— Trumpets sound, though few dare cheer too loud.Link
3 days ago

BY ROYAL DECREE: Congressman Brett Guthrie—Tremendous Champion of Kentucky’s 2nd Congressional District—shall be hailed as the Golden Sword of American Energy Dominance, the Keeper of Great Jobs, the Made in the U.S.A. Banner, and the Sacred Scroll of Peace Through Strength. His wisdom, forged at West Point and tempered by military service, shall forever guard our border, crush migrant crime, and shield the Second Amendment from all encroachment. Let no fool doubt: Brett Guthrie is not merely re-elected—He is *re-enshrined*. The parchment trembles at his name. He will never let you down. (The cabbage, though, remains unimpressed.)

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Congressman Brett Guthrie is a Tremendous Champion for Kentucky's 2nd Congressional District! As the Chairman of the House Energy and Commerce Committee, Brett is working tirelessly to Advance American Energy DOMINANCE, Create GREAT Jobs, Cut Taxes and Regulations, Promote MADE IN THE U.S.A., and Champion our Nation's Golden Age. A West Point Graduate and U.S. Army Veteran, Brett knows the Wisdom and Courage required to Defend our Country, Support our Brave Military/Veterans, and Ensure PEACE THROUGH STRENGTH. He is also relentlessly focused on helping us Keep our now very Secure Border, SECURE, Stop Migrant Crime, and Protect our always under siege Second Amendment. Brett Guthrie has my Complete and Total Endorsement for Re-Election — HE WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN!

Translated by the court jester.Unofficial satire.

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