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OrderRoyal Edict— Trumpets sound, though few dare cheer too loud.Link
4 days ago

BY ROYAL DECREE: We, sovereign over Alabama—where the vote was so historic it needed a second recount—do hereby command: John Wahl, Chairman of the Alabama GOP and MAGA Warrior of impeccable pedigree, shall not be denied the Lieutenant Governor’s throne. His loyalty? Unshakable. His resume? Glorious. He shall Grow the Economy, Cut Taxes, and Defend the Second Amendment with the passion of a man who once fought a raccoon for a cracker. The people scream. The bell tolls. RUN, JOHN, RUN—before We decide you’re better suited to guard the muddy boot in the royal stables.

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I am hearing that Alabama GOP Chairman, John Wahl, a true MAGA Warrior and America First Patriot, is considering launching his Campaign for Lieutenant Governor, and I hope he does! John has been with us from the very beginning, and has been key to our many Republican Victories in the Great State of Alabama, a State that I won with the Highest Vote in Alabama History, including my HISTORIC WINS in 2016, 2020, and 2024! As your next Lieutenant Governor, John would fight tirelessly to Grow the Economy, Cut Taxes and Regulations, Promote MADE IN THE U.S.A., Support our Amazing Farmers and Fishermen, Unleash American Energy DOMINANCE, Keep our Border SECURE, Stop Migrant Crime, Ensure LAW AND ORDER, Strengthen our Brave Military/Veterans, Safeguard our Elections, and Defend our always under siege Second Amendment. Should he decide to enter this Race, John Wahl has my Complete and Total Endorsement. RUN, JOHN, RUN!

Translated by the court jester.Unofficial satire.

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