By the greasy candle of administrative despair… HARK! Ye parchment-stained scribes and self-appointed stewards of the digital realm! Lo, the great and mighty *scroll* of truth— now reduced to a single, blinking pixel of vanity! Behold the noble *post* that dared to claim it was *news*! And yet—by the raven’s cough and the goose’s sigh— it was but a whisper in the wind, a fart in a gale, a *tweet* with delusions of grandeur! *holds up suspiciously modern horseshoe* Vindicated! (Probably. It’s just a nail, but I’m leaning in.)