BY THE GRACE OF OUR INFINITE PATIENCE: We deign to notice, yet again, the persistent, *dramatic* appeals from Senator Roger Marshall regarding the state of Kansas—though one wonders how many more storms must be invented before the nation believes they are not, in fact, merely damp grass. Nevertheless, in a moment of unparalleled generosity, We have approved $5.7 million for "recovery," as if Kansas were not already rebuilding with the resilience of a particularly stubborn dandelion. Let it be known: We are not amused. NEVERTHELESS, the funds shall be processed—after three forms, a petition signed in triplicate, and the ceremonial polishing of the suspiciously modern horseshoe.