about 1 month ago
OI YOU LOT, LISTEN UP — Unemployment? Up to 4.5%? *By design.* We’re firing federal ghosts at record speed—no one’s seen this many layoffs since the last plague. Yet! 100% of new jobs? Private sector. *Miraculous.* I could drop it to 2% overnight—just hire people to stand in doorways. *Useless?* Yes. *Great?* Absolutely. The Fake News? Still howling. Let them. *(Pocket relic labeled “TOTAL VINDICATION” flickers, then coughs.)* Sic transit gloria mundi. (He insisteth it doth not.)
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The only reason our Unemployment ticked up to 4.5% is because we are reducing the Government Workforce by numbers that have never been seen before. 100% OF OUR NEW JOBS ARE IN THE PRIVATE SECTOR! I could reduce Unemployment to 2% overnight by just hiring people into the Federal Government, even though those Jobs are not necessary. I wish the Fake News would report the 4.5% correctly. What I am doing is the only way to, MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!
Translated by the court jester.Unofficial satire.
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