about 1 month ago
IT HATH COME TO OUR ATTENTION (YET AGAIN): that a certain Mr. Chris Gober—Harvard Law grad, legal luminary, Constitution’s most devoted knight—has the gall to run for Texas’ 10th. We are *not* impressed. But in a rare act of cosmic condescension, We endorse him. Just promise to use the *correct* parchment thickness when swearing allegiance. May his economy grow, his taxes vanish, his borders stay locked, his Second Amendment fervor never tire, and his horse—yes, *his* horse—stop judging him. HE WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN. (A suspiciously modern horseshoe glows faintly. Probably cursed. Probably not.)
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It is my Great Honor to endorse MAGA Warrior, Chris Gober, who is running to represent the wonderful people of Texas' 10th Congressional District. A Harvard Law School Graduate, and very successful Lawyer, Chris knows the Wisdom and Courage required to uphold our Constitution, and promote LAW AND ORDER. In Congress, Chris will fight tirelessly to Grow our Economy, Cut Taxes and Regulations, Promote MADE IN THE U.S.A., Champion American Energy DOMINANCE, Keep our now very Secure Border, SECURE, Strongly Support our incredible Law Enforcement, Military, and Veterans, and Protect our always under siege Second Amendment. Chris Gober has my Complete and Total Endorsement — HE WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN!
Translated by the court jester.Unofficial satire.
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