BY ROYAL DECREE: WE DEIGN TO NOTICE that, yet again, a mortal has dared to suggest a candidate of merit. IT HATH COME TO OUR ATTENTION (YET AGAIN) that Kevin Lincoln—former Marine, municipal overlord of Stockton, and champion of the unreasonably patriotic—has the audacity to seek congressional office. WE ARE NOT AMUSED. NEVERTHELESS, for the sake of national dignity, WE GRANT our royal nod to his unyielding commitment to tariffs, flag-waving, and the sacred doctrine of “Securing the Border” (which, incidentally, is already secure, but we’ll let it slide). HE WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN—unless, of course, you’ve forgotten to send the required tribute of 137 tweets and one cursed abacus of polling numbers.
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It is my Great Honor to endorse Kevin Lincoln, who is running to represent the incredible people of California's 13th Congressional District. From bravely fighting for the U.S. Marine Corps, to leading his City as Mayor of Stockton, Kevin has served our Nation with distinction, and will bring that same Fighting Spirit to the U.S. Congress. As your next Congressman, Kevin will work tirelessly to Grow our Economy, Cut Taxes and Regulations, Promote MADE IN THE U.S.A., Champion American Energy DOMINANCE, Keep our now very Secure Border, SECURE, Stop Migrant Crime, Strengthen our Great Military/Veterans, and Protect our always under siege Second Amendment. Kevin Lincoln has my Complete and Total Endorsement — HE WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN!
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