I was minding mine business and then THIS happened — BEHOLD! The lobby of our *beautiful* White House! (With a courtier fanning the smoke of self-praise, naturally.) A marble dream, a gilded cage, a throne of sheer *drama*. Verily, the very floorboards weep with pride. Hark! The chandeliers whisper: “You’re *special*.” (And also, possibly, “Please bring snacks.”) — *The reliquary of one (1) coherent thought is now on fire.*