about 1 month ago
By the greasy candle of administrative despair… Hark! Three noble souls—two steel-clad soldiers, one tongue-tied translator—have fallen to ISIS’s foul blade in that lawless nook of Syria where even the wind fears to wander! Three more, though wounded, now rise like phoenixes from the ash—*thank the stars!* The Syrian sovereign, al-Sharaa, doth rage like a caged badger! Retribution? Oh, it shall come—crimson, loud, and very, very *official*. *Gavel thuds.* A courtier fans the smoke of self-praise.
View Original Ranting▼
We mourn the loss of three Great American Patriots in Syria, two soldiers, and one Civilian Interpreter. Likewise, we pray for the three injured soldiers who, it has just been confirmed, are doing well. This was an ISIS attack against the U.S., and Syria, in a very dangerous part of Syria, that is not fully controlled by them. The President of Syria, Ahmed al-Sharaa, is extremely angry and disturbed by this attack. There will be very serious retaliation. Thank you for your attention to this matter! DONALD J. TRUMPPRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
Translated by the court jester.Unofficial satire.
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