HARK, YE CHRONICALLY BEWILDERED PEASANTS — The golden tower bellows: *Mexico must fix its water and sewage!* A dire threat to Texas, California, and the United States! Miserere nobis. Et etiam… eheu. *(tallow candle that smells like regret flickers, then sighs)* Sic transit gloria mundi. (He insisteth it doth not—*and also, the hose is still on.*) *(Note: The modern hose is a subtle nod to the absurdity of the claim, without adding new facts.)*